Personal reflections from a woman in the extremist underground
In 2012 I began disengaging from the extremist underground and I would love to be able to say that I made a clean break over night, however I would be lying through my teeth.
From the outside looking in, my childhood seemed perfect. I grew up in a middle-class family with my father, mother and younger brother. Beyond the surface, I encountered toxicity from my grand father. Interestingly he is originally from England and fought in WW2. One would assume he would have taken a more direct opposition to fascism, however many of his remarks mirrored what I would hear later on in the far- right circles. On many occasions, he would tell me that Black history month was racist towards white people. I would regularly hear the N-word used and took the hint that if I ever brought home a person of colour or another woman, I would be disowned. Additionally I experienced body shaming from him in my early teens. I tried crash dieting, however it did not end very well. Within a few years I was able to shed the weight, however my low opinion of myself still remained.