I’m Lauren, I’m 28 years old. I live just outside of Toronto, Ontario and I volunteer with anorganization called „life after hate“, which works to help individuals disengage from hate groups. I spent 5 years in hate groups and remember how difficult it is to leave that toxic network behind. I also hope to make amends for the damage I once did.

It’s just like an addiction; I was attracted to it because I was looking for somewhere I could escapeto where I felt significant in my own mind.

I was raised in an middle class family and from the outside; we looked like we had everything. Since I was a kid, something just internally felt really „off“, like I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin.

My dad was sick with cancer since I was 7 years old. My grandfather was toxic and would regularly make nasty comments about my weight, my appearance, my academic short comings at school and anything else he could find. I didn’t know what to do about my grandfathers actions; I tried to loose weight, but it seemed no matter what I did, it was never good enough for him.

My dad was my best friend and died when I was 16, there after I was left with this huge void.